I've read some stuff in the New Testament of the Bible and there's always the promise of Jesus forgiving you when you are sorry after a wrong step: last few days I read Jesaja and like often in the OT God punishes whole tribes and countries including Israël. Not once... but one after the other!

I'm clearly not ready to read a lot in the OT because I seem to forget I'm Saved and instead I start feeling guilty and scared, like I did as a child.

Is it the same God - Yes and Jesaja speaks prophesies about Jesus coming but I got stuck in the past, litterally the OT and my OLD life!

I'm a non smoker, forgiven for smoking - I'm not one of those tribes in Jesaja. I have received New Life, through Jesus.

And I know many struggle with the OT when you don't separate what you read from your life; you end up feeling guilty for everything. I've decided to skip the OT for a while and focus on the NT.

I smoked and 10 years I caught myself in a vicious cyclus still I got a chance and I took it. A new Life. I'm focusing on being smokefree, participate in church and 'glow' as a Christian outside church.

But all of this came from mercy.

Last time when I smoked, something touched my heart when I prayed to kick off from nicotine and cigs. Mercy. And most of all the answered prayer of taking away this destructive and lying fact I needed nicotine to succeed.

I grew the past months. I realize NOW that when I quit with a patch on, I never felt like I quit so why not smoke because I wanted to do it cold turkey. 10 freakin' years this game wend on and on. It became habit, a distraction to avoid feelings I was so 'busy quitting'!

Now not a cloud in the sky. I call that mercy... did I have internal conversation the first 48 hours - yes but I did not gave in. Somehow I had the faith!

My apologies to those who aren't that into religion or Christian faith. I felt I needed to share this blog post.