I know it's not possible of course but it all feels a bit samey at the moment, it feels like time isn't really passing. I just put in June celebrations to the calender, or started too. Put in it will be 3 months for me next month and thought "Jeez, is that all"! I guess this can be taken in a good way. I look at the progress I've made, the limited triggers I now get and that's at 2 months and some but it feels weird and out of whack, like it should be longer, not sure why.

I also look how I define trigger now, once it was attached to a gut wrench feeling, now a crave is all mental and frankly, annoying. I simply say nope and move on most of the time. The harder times are when a smoker wants to smoke and talk to me, I have to watch them smoke and it still makes me think "ahhh, but not for me". When my daughters are away from me, I get restless and that causes some bigger triggers, boredom is still high on my mental chatter list. Posting and distracting myself does work though which is good.

I actually through it all, do not want to smoke anymore. I am done abusing my body that way.

Exercise is fun but maybe this shred thing isn't the way for me. I am a little over-zealous and keep hurting myself lol. I want to do what they do, sadly I'm 38 with less oophf then the body built tv birds :) Oopsy, deep heat on the shoulder again and moving on I will rest today and try once more tomoz. If not I can go back to the other stuff I was enjoying.

I forgot I like to exercise...how did I forget?! I like to feel fit and well and I can't believe my brain tried to hide that from me so I would smoke again? Even hurting I'm thinking this is great! The euphoria I get after exercise definately outweighs the smoking "aahhhhh" which is crave induced.

Overall I think I'm ok but on edge. Not to the place I want to be yet but trucking on. I will know when I get to the elusive "i'm there" I'm sure.