Nov-23-2013

Yay 21 days. The amount of days one of my good friends said I could not make it and would fail. I just love shoving that in their know-it-all-face. Feels so good.

The funny thing is I was off today so didn't really get to rub it in but yesterday when i worked half a day I did mention that tomorrow (today) was 21 days. and They said that they were proud of me and shocked that I did it. I told them it was easier than I thought it would be (which I kind of felt bad seeing as how many times theyve relapsed so quickly and this is my first try.) But I also said that I had split seconds where I thought it was all over. Like when I wrecked my car last weekend. I just didnt see the point anymore in quitting. ...they then said that they would have immediately went and got a pack of cigarettes if that happened (they are currently quit for a month now after a two day relapse after a month quit) and that it would have been enough to justify a cigarette to them. But I pointed out that I thought that at first too, but then realized that it wasnt changing the fact that my car was broken and needed to be fixed...the fact that I was mad at myself for doing it....so either way I'm going to be mad but if I gave in and bought the cigarettes Id be mad at myself for yet one more very important thing to me. And that just wasnt worth it to me. Then, as usual, he says "wow, well, yeah, I see your point...that makes sense"

I didn't do this because of him I was quitting for myself, obviously. But he challenged me by saying I couldn't make it to 21 days and challenges I do not lose. even if I would have had to chain myself to a chair for three weeks...I win. I am the one who proves people wrong, not the other way around.

I'm very proud of myself since in the beginning I knew that if something happened BIG I would be scared about how I would deal with that as I wouldn't know until it happened. But really I've only realized that it would not help anything I could ever have to go through whether its the wrecked car, the random HR meeting, or the botched promotion that all happened this month that were pretty big deals to me. I realized that I am going to be angry and sad during those times for quite a while...even weeks...but that I would still be just as angry if I was smoking so, really, they wouldn't do anything for me in any situation. I've just learned a lot about myself and we never know how strong we are until we push our limits and leave our comfort zone.