Posted 04 June 2013 - 04:49 PM

I am amazed that I made it this far! Last night was rough, had a pretty hard time falling asleep without my bedtime cigarette. Then, when I did pass out, I was woken up by coughing and every time I laid back down there it was again. By the end of yesterday, I had enough of yesterday and just wanted to sleep. I must've fallen back asleep at some point, so I did sleep some. I woke up and my patch was gone, somehow it ended up in between 2 pillows.

I'm feeling like I lost my best friend or something. I find myself wandering around my house, just restless, never sitting still. Not doing anything constructive, almost like I don't know what to do with myself. Tried to watch a movie last night, but just couldn't focus. Drinking lots of water with frozen fruit in it, chewing gum, cough drops and sugar-free popsicles. I keep thinking " oh, when I'm finished with such and such, I'll go have a cigarette". Must be my sub-conscious trying to trick me, because I have no cigarettes around. I've come close a few times in the past 24 or so hours to buying a pack, but so far have been able to hang on.

The shaking has subsided which is awesome. I was afraid it would stick with me longer. Thanks for all the kind words of support yesterday, it really is helpful!

Posted 05 June 2013 - 06:26 PM

I think I'm starting to realize that instead of a friend, it's like a really bad relationship that I want to get over and forget about. Yeah, and people are much better than cigarettes!

Today was sort of up and down. I was actually enjoying not smoking for short periods. When I'm out and about, I'm avoiding looking at people. I am so nervous I'm going to SEE someone smoking and then it will be all over. Obviously, that can't go on for long. I was at a local drugstore and when I got to the entrance all I could smell was cigarettes. I couldn't decide if I liked or hated the smell. I actually thought about it the entire time I was in the store and still couldn't figure it out. This quitting smoking is making me weird!