Lust4Life

Quit Date: Sept 26 2016

Posted January 13, 2021 

Newbies and lurkers - rest assured I did not smoke a pack of cigarettes.   Way back in 2016 one of fearless leaders @jillar shared a great tool - the air cig.  Put your  fingers up to your mouth.  Take a drag of air.  I termed it pack of JACs.  Jillar's Air Cigarettes. Hard to do in public these days.  My security blanket was a straw, cut down to the size of a cig.  That did not work for me tonight.  After all these years, I dove into a pack of JACs.  

I'm sad to admit that this evening - all the stress of life in the USA, life in my own existance, came to a head in my own head.   I've been in a state of unease for quite awhile.   When I reflect back on my near panic attack this evening - I realized I did not crave a cigarette.   I craved breath.  The shameful Pavlovian response for decompression breathing resurfaced.   I found myself with smoker's fingers married to pursed lips.  I inhaled quiet air.  Clean.  Deep into my lungs.  Deeper into my body.   Exhale anxiety.  Exhale stressors.  Exhale my own breath- without purchased toxins. 

My fellow quitters have great success stories.  Faded triggers, broken routines have secured their path to a lovely life as an ex-smoker without looking back.  

The tender path to reformation is longer for some.   Do not let it thwart your efforts.  

The suck it up buttercup mentality is great for some.   I chanted that mantra for months.  Maybe years.  It worked until it didn't. 

I did not smoke.  

I did not want to smoke.

I was startled by my stress response.

After all these years - I still require a physical motion to decompress. 

Do you?  If no- OK

If so- OK.  

Okay?

Okay.

Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15014-pack-of-jacs/