PixelSketch

Posted May 4, 2017 

I've been pretty much craving-free since about the third-ish week. I still get a quick smoking thought once in a blue moon, but I laugh at it, and 'poof', it's gone. Just like that. Which, honestly, still shocks me. I never thought I would ever be able to quit. And if by some miracle I did, I was pretty sure I'd be tortured and miserable. I'm thankful every day for this quit, and for this board.

So things are good. But the other day I had a really strong and very persistent thought of smoking that I just couldn't shake. I knew I wouldn't smoke anyway. I'm strong in my quit, and I refuse to give it up. There are far too many benefits to being smoke-free that I'm loving so much. I've no desire to go back.

But it really annoyed me that I couldn't get rid of this. All day, the thought of smoking just danced around and around my head. Grrrrr!

I finally had some time at the end of the day and I sat down with a cup of tea and went back over my day to see if I could find the trigger. 

Well, it turns out, I didn't just associate smokes with the beginning or end of a task, as a sort of reward, or treat. I didn't smoke just when I was stressed or bored. I also reached for one when I was REALLY happy or excited about something. Ahhhh....click click click. It all fell into place.

I had had a really good day. In the middle of a super crazy project, I unexpectedly had a few personal and professional things just work out in a way I never saw coming. And the sense of excitement, future possibilities as a result, and celebration produced some strong positive feelings. And it turned out I coped with strong intense feelings, even happy ones, by deadening them with a smoke. 

So, once I realized this, I needed to test the theory out. So I just gave in to my feelings. I cranked some music and danced my excitement out. And I let myself really, truly feel those feelings. To let myself be really happy. To not worry that something would go wrong or it wouldn't last. Just feel it.  And guess what? The day-long craving finally went away. And another trigger busted. 

I don't need The 'Happy' Smoke, or The 'Reward' Smoke, or The 'Stress' Smoke, or The 'I Just Ate Too Much Pizza' Smoke. I just need to let myself experience whatever it is I'm feeling or experiencing. I need to own my feelings. I'm responsible for them. Not some rolled up plant in a piece of paper.

Link to original post:https://www.quittrain.com/topic/8436-the-happy-smoke/