This post was written by a member of another forum by the name of jwg and brought over to preserve it. And although I never knew him his ability to write about his addiction and his approach to dying spoke to me. RIP jwg.....

A lazy Texas river spanning form Kerr county Texas to the San Antonio bay on the Gulf of Mexico.  If you ever need to find a place to relax enjoy the sunshine while refreshing from the hot Texas sun, nothing beats a lazy day tubing down the slow winding of deep greens and blue. Some place your arm able to reach down and feel the stones polished by the millenniums. Hiding secrets of the Alamo and days gone by. A sacred place, where no worries in the world can follow, No troubles from work are allowed to enter, only you and your desire to be at peace can break the waters edge.

In my resent ventures over this past summer I had the opportunity to experience the river , its majesty and glory , Not only was I with the river I was with the finest people in the world to share the experience. By day floating lazily carefree and by night telling stories lounging about the cabin or sitting under the stars on the porch, cooking out burgers some night or fajita’s..

I often think of that trip and the fun we all had, to go back in time , even in memory can be so nice . Some days we would float solo or holding hands keeping close together. other days we banded are pack together by twine and traveled the river as one , like a Robin Hood and his merry men , or maybe Tom Sawyer and some of his boy hood chums.

One particular day we were going solo , but I lashed the tube with the cooler to my rig

6 hours or so , surly you need some sort of refreshment and maybe even pull up on to  a clear shore line for  a bite to eat.. And so we did. After lunch two of are young explores

Decided to forgo the tubes, swim a bit and comb the bottom of the river for secret hidden treasures,, Lost sunglass or the mother load a Iphone or other such valuable loot.

Now with no use for there tubes , the young explores piled them on top of the cooler . So there I was, in my tube tied to a stack of three tubes and a cooler. To which the wind had greater strength to control then the  slow easiness of the river current.

Some times I would find the wind speeding me along , while others the wind dragging me back and my group of merry band of men flowing down the river far in front of me.

While still enjoying the river the ride and the scenery I really had no control of the speed of my travel , to which side of the river I would coast. Sometimes the wind would bring me in to the tree line . Catching me on limbs and others casting me out into the deeper waters. Basicly I was at the mercy of powers much greater then myself..

As history repeats itself ,, this is where I find myself once more, only today laying in my hospital bed.

With each  day that passes more tubes are added to my burden, and now with each tube the wind carries me faster down the river then we could have ever imagined.

Just a few hundred yards back the option of chemo loomed in the air to slow the winds and the current giving me more time to enjoy the river, but now once  more due to powers beyond my control I find myself helpless. My illness grows faster then can be controlled.

I am at peace, I am comfortable. I am in my tube enjoying every last minute of my ride

Down the Guadalupe

I can not see the end to the river nor do I look forward to its end..

I have my friends , I have my family , I have you all , and I have the love of a beautiful women , my angel, my everything to comfort and care for me

I love you all

And will to my best keep you posted

In the mean time

Don’t put things in your mouth and light them on fire !!