Jonny5

Posted April 24, 2014 · IP 

I remember that I was going through the motions, telling myself that I wasn't giving up anything etc etc, just like Allen Carr told me.  and I remember thinking , ok yeh, I can buy into this, I can look at things from a more positive perspective.  I was prepared to follow the don't smoke instructions, but I did suspect Allen Carr was just trying to point out the obvious, and that made me feel a little patronised, but he was telling the truth, don't smoke and you are a non smoker.. well yeh of course.

I had already decided that I was going to see this thing through, I wasn't going to give in this time.

but the penny didn't drop until day 18 for me.  I remember clearly.  I was sat in this same chair that I am now.  I was in the foulest of moods, I was snapping at my wife for no reason, it was not like me at all.

I stood up and said to her, " I'm sorry, I'm being an A hole to you."  she said "it's fine, you are going through a hard time quitting."

I was embarrassed and didn't like the situation one bit.  And I said to her "I'm going to stop being a moaning b**tard right this minute, because I'm fed up of being that guy.

and in an instant I wasn't that guy any more.  I did have control over me. and over how I was reacting to quitting smoking. I believe part of me had still felt I was giving up something before that moment.

I was still experiencing craves quite badly on that day, but right after the conversation with my wife, I stood up and faced one of the craves.  and I actually said out loud, come on then, do your worst, give me your best shot, because I'm not going to smoke, so go ahead and punish me. kill me, or whatever it is that you've been threatening.

of course nothing happened.  nothing does happen.  but the moment I realise that, is the moment that everything happened.  I was free.  my tormentor had no weaponry that could harm me ever again, it was all just fear.

that was the day I started saying to myself and others, "what's the worst thing that could happen if you don't smoke?"

and it was the day that I realised that Allen Carr was a genius, the simplicity of his method blew away all of the rubbish that I had accumulated over the years, the rubbish that stood in the way of my path to freedom.

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