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Weebles wobble but they don't fall down..

I want to be all light and airy and supportive on this board. But I don't have that in me right now. Right now real life is not playing ball, or maybe I really am nuts and causing drama in my own life. I can't face anymore arguing, even if I say I don't want to talk, I can't seem to shut my mother up at the moment. She is sniping and shouting and carrying on like quite frankly a child...although that's insulting to kids, cause my kids behave better! Her non quit is doing my frikkin head in, I'd
Still winning

Still winning

4

I think it just got easier again

Sometimes, when you least expect it, this quitting malarky ramps itself up a gear.   I was soo upset and angry earlier in the week. I knew I wouldn't smoke, I did think about it read my own answer to an sos (which it wasn't but precautionary). It suddenly felt like an answer from another lifetime. I have cigs in the house, have the whole quit though so not new or a plan, and I thought "I wish it would help, I know it won't, sigh". And just carried on being upset.   Like a non smoker!!   Ha
Still winning

Still winning

3

Got no mates!

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe.   So where's me mates at?
Still winning

Still winning

2

Strength from the quit, or quit from the strength...

Sometimes, we go through things. There is always a reason in my humble opinion.   Every time I hit a milestone, or another 1,000 cigarettes not smoked, I celebrate. No matter what is going on, no matter how I am financially. The reason for this is simple, I believe this freedom was hard fought for. I have often given thanks to friends here, newer and older quits for helping me find my path to finally make this attempt stick. I have had major wobbles, even an SOS back in April and untold swear
Still winning

Still winning

3

11th March to 18th April

My champix is taken and my quit date set, I have literally tried all other options and this is my last one. However my partner and mother both smoke. My Mum is disabled and has copd so can't actually get outside to smoke. It's not an excuse because I will no longer let it be but I failed previously because there are always going to be cigs around the house, that's not changing for now so I must have a better plan....but if I quit, maybe they will too?? Either way I would appreciate any tips,
Still winning

Still winning

0

My mojo is back!!

I am a quit buddy whore, I have two cause I'm greedy like that. Just my new one talking about getting back on the train has reminded me I always wanted this. My older and yet strangely skirted (for a fella) and experienced one has reminded me all the way through that I have had this since day 1. I don't know as if I forgot that per se, I think I was safe...but I forgot the severity with which I wanted this freedom. Talking someone else through it and actually my beloved cousin asking me about i
Still winning

Still winning

3

6 month thoughts

This is what I posted for how I felt and feel, copied and pasted to my blog for once. - Don't put anything in your mouth and set it on fire! Actually, when someone put it like that it sounded like a pretty stupid plan anyway :) - Smoking is not on the table. Shortened to SNOT, thank goodness, my memory is shot from kids, I can remember short words! - NOPE - yep, like SNOT. Going with the KISS philosophy (keep it simple stupid) - One puff away from a pack a day There were so many reasons
Still winning

Still winning

3

13, lucky for some

13 sleeps till one year.   So massively overwhelmed I have no plans at all. The nearest weekend will be mothers day (laughable) and my fella Chris's birthday. It's what you get for quitting near his birthday I guess lol.   I should say, it isn't all bad. Even when life is doing it's thang, I don't want to smoke. I do feel that I should celebrate though, it's been something I've done all the way through and it feels wrong to not do it now. I wonder what others did? Anyone?   I have been thi
Still winning

Still winning

2

I could smoke, but I don't smoke and repeat

I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your las
Still winning

Still winning

0

7 Months - in a few minutes...

It still makes me smile. I posted up, on a site about 7/8 sites down from the top result as I'd already signed on to all the prior ones in my million quit attempts!! Never posted mind, and couldn't be bothered to try and remember the password! Found a new one, had no idea why as had not planned to do anything but I read a bit and posted! I posted of my intention to quit the following day (had no clue if I could or couldn't actually lol), that I lived with smokers who smoked in my house...it was
Still winning

Still winning

4

Thought associations

They are not triggers, nor craves. My quit is secure and my resolve is strong, or at least I believe it is.   However, there are some strange thought associations going on for me. Two of my "quit reasons" were a reiki course and a florida holiday. The holiday is 5 days away and paid for now, my practioner level reiki course was today. My "reasons" to quit are finished and yet not finished and in honesty it's an odd feeling.   Life has been throwing some stressors of late, maybe it's that? It
Still winning

Still winning

2

Found my day 1 poem

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it.   Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smilin
Still winning

Still winning

4

12 days to go

Till one year.   Going to bring myself back up now. Can't be sad for long...got a treat to plan no idea what still?   As I come towards this mark in time I can't help but remember where I was a year ago today.   With 12 days till the quit I had already tried patches and been allergic, so by now a year ago I was taking champix, desperate for that "moment" when I knew I could quit. It made me feel so sick, the dreams were mental, I felt like I was beginning to suffer some depression...I knew
Still winning

Still winning

1

Time standing still?

I know it's not possible of course but it all feels a bit samey at the moment, it feels like time isn't really passing. I just put in June celebrations to the calender, or started too. Put in it will be 3 months for me next month and thought "Jeez, is that all"! I guess this can be taken in a good way. I look at the progress I've made, the limited triggers I now get and that's at 2 months and some but it feels weird and out of whack, like it should be longer, not sure why.   I also look ho
Still winning

Still winning

1

5 beautiful months

My quit still will always me happy. I put it on a pedestal with other amazing things I've done. I think I value it so highly because I understand my quit was an addict literally fighting for a life! I see all day every day the effects of smoking related illness and one can only be an emu for so long.   I knew I needed help. I am pretty tough :) I have been through some situations which I am lucky enough grew me into a spiritual and warrior type of force. Do not misunderstand that, I am incredi
Still winning

Still winning

3

2,000 unsmoked since September! Only December!

On sept 28th, I celebrated not smoking 6,000 cigarettes. Today I am at 8,125!!!   That's a really large amount. I normally like my commitment levels to a cause but in this case, yikes, that's a big number. I see other normal quitters numbers, a lot are nowhere near what I haven't smoked in far more time!! As per usual, I don't know whether to smile or sob at the amount I smoked and therefore haven't smoked now.   This whole month has been odd. It hasn't ended yet (few days off 9 months quit)
Still winning

Still winning

2

3 months and a few days

Goodness my brain has been busy!! It's so different now, the thinking, much easier but still conflicting.   I know for sure I will not smoke, no matter what. 3 Reasons for this. 1 I want to be a non smoker 2 I simply cannot do that withdrawal again, never in all my days would I have called myself an addict, until I realized I was an addict. 3 My fear of smoking now far outweighs my fear of quitting and the random thought neurons I still possess. Reading that back I still run by fear rather
Still winning

Still winning

2

Edgy, counting, motivation.

I see a post, what motivated you to quit. I can't answer it there, I'm pretty ashamed. It should have been my beloved uncle's lung cancer but it wasn't (one sister quit then, both his sons still smoke!). It should have been cervical cancer, I chose denial. It could have been my Mums COPD diagnosis, but no. It was my 8 year old baby telling me she was scared and me finally imagining her living my life as a carer to my mum - oh hell no you don't!! It started a quit journey of almost a year (july t
Still winning

Still winning

1

11 sleeps to the big one

I am weirded out by all the smoking dreams. Awake I know I'm not at risk...if only my subconscious would catch up!! Posted and asked for if others felt it.   Awake, I am feeling stronger. Like the quit is strengthening me. I will celebrate my 1 year this time and I will stay quit, because it is different now. I don't actually want to be a smoker, so the other option is non smoker isn't it. Simple really.   Would I smoke if the end of the world was nigh. No, I'd have people to be with and be
Still winning

Still winning

0

6 sleeps till 1 year

It's less than a week. I really can't believe it if I'm honest. I remember seeing people reaching this stage and thinking, I won't congratulate them cause I don't even know what to say to such an achievement. If I'm totally straight, I never was sure I'd make it, I wanted the quit desperately but I couldn't equate me to being a non smoker. Now I can and I like that. I think that happened after the holiday triggers were faced down and reinforced after the christmas shopping triggers were faced do
Still winning

Still winning

0

Been a while

Not updated as not much to report to be honest.   I'm almost 5 months, as it's the 2nd I know that's in 10 days, but mostly I don't really remember how long it's been since I quit. That feels massively ironic as at stages there I was counting in minutes, at a push days. Months seemed totally unrealistic and I smile to think back.   It turns out 4 is my new magic number. Since the actual day I turned 4 months quit I have honestly felt great! That particular day was a dark one on the emotiona
Still winning

Still winning

1

Arguments!

Argument today, with my Mum. Waited for the trigger and it didn't happen!! I wondered if I would think about smoking .. actually what I thought is smoking won't help at all here and genuinely meant it.   Broke a trigger!!!   Sadly this just means there are too many arguments around me all the time :( but still chuffed this is not a trigger now.
Still winning

Still winning

1

Almost 3 months

I feel like I ought to sing a rendition of Elton John's "I'm still standing" and I smile at this. I had so many failures with quits I'm not sure I've fully taken in that I don't smoke. Yet I have, I KNOW and have known for sometime, truth to tell, that I'm done, no more smoking.   I'm not sure of the point of this blog?? lol. So me, I start writing with no idea of the end game. I wish I was one of those together people who always had a plan :)   It's my magic number coming up next though. I'
Still winning

Still winning

1

Almost 6 months

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking.   The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who acce
Still winning

Still winning

1

No wonder!

I'm up and down like a yoyo. The energy is off the scale and I've been to caught up to even look what's going on. You know the problem with quitting smoking...you think everything is about not smoking!! How frikkin annoying that my life has been entering a place that feels much like the toilet, when part of whatI do is understanding how energy influences us - and I missed it. Utter divvy!   First time I've written on my web page since I quit :) I may be more emotional minus cigs but I cont
Still winning

Still winning

0

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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