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My mojo is back!!

I am a quit buddy whore, I have two cause I'm greedy like that. Just my new one talking about getting back on the train has reminded me I always wanted this. My older and yet strangely skirted (for a fella) and experienced one has reminded me all the way through that I have had this since day 1. I don't know as if I forgot that per se, I think I was safe...but I forgot the severity with which I wanted this freedom. Talking someone else through it and actually my beloved cousin asking me about i
Still winning

Still winning

3

Mixed bag of a week

I spent the weekend walking and pub crawling. Kept meeting up with smoking friends and would think awww for a second, then remember everything that comes with it and I was ok again. Strange sensations. Done a lot more exercise then I've done in years over the week, didn't ache so don't think I'm doing enough but pleased my fitness level is still ok to not ache and ready to ramp it up this week. So that's all good. Fella had that whole body crave thing on Sat night, wow that's horrendous to watch
Still winning

Still winning

0

Isn't it strange

I am 8 months and some change quit. I have a vigilant, supported, hard fought for quit and I genuinely love being a non smoker. I'm not just saying it. I have no desire to be a smoker ever again, I will not be chained, I will not be sick by choice apart from anything I've already done.   I was on holiday, holiday triggers, yep! Got it, fought it!! Screw that, no way. I understand, it's a situation I haven't faced before. I've seen it at parties, in gatherings. When we meet with friends. All d
Still winning

Still winning

0

I think it just got easier again

Sometimes, when you least expect it, this quitting malarky ramps itself up a gear.   I was soo upset and angry earlier in the week. I knew I wouldn't smoke, I did think about it read my own answer to an sos (which it wasn't but precautionary). It suddenly felt like an answer from another lifetime. I have cigs in the house, have the whole quit though so not new or a plan, and I thought "I wish it would help, I know it won't, sigh". And just carried on being upset.   Like a non smoker!!   Ha
Still winning

Still winning

3

I just know

I've had a wine or 5. At times like these I like to write, I find myself more honest when inbetween sober and tipsy.   I'm close to 10K not smoked. I'm marking time waiting for it if I'm honest. I really want to get there and "get er done".   I really have to push myself to think of smoking now. I mean, I can't imagine a scenario that means I would fall off the wagon.   My quit is comfortable now. Not to say I never have a thought, I do, but it never overtakes me anymore. I just know thi
Still winning

Still winning

3

I don't have the answers but I do have 4 months :)

My quit makes me proud. I do believe anyone can quit and that every quit will be different. I believe if you educate yourself enough about the harm smoking causes you will find it tougher to do that to yourself again. I believe that smoking and craving 20, 30, 60 times a day is honestly harder than saying no more, not today and getting past the points where it feels hard.   For all the tough days whilst quitting and finding my new personality post being a smoker, what sticks with me is I did i
Still winning

Still winning

0

I could smoke, but I don't smoke and repeat

I am at no risk of smoking still, that's good but I am bored senseless of this inane internal drivel, could smoke/don't smoke, that goes through my head every day. I don't even know how I would explain it but I still have the same thoughts of times when I would smoke. For sure they are less frequent then they were. For definate they are not the gut wrenching craves of days gone by and haven't been for a long time. Just like a fly really that keeps buzzing around you and getting right on your las
Still winning

Still winning

0

How did it happen...

I have been sitting wondering why, why did I become a smoker and how. The word that has sprung to mind all through my quit is insidious! I never "meant" to be a smoker. I didn't "choose" it and yet I ended up at an average of 2 packs per day by age 38, from a first cigarette starting point of age 9.   Age 9, I stole a cig from my mums packet. I don't even remember why. My parents were still together, home life was suspicious but I don't know why I did it. I took it to the shed, took some puffs
Still winning

Still winning

6

Hello triggers...it's been a while....

I don't much like my Mum. I feel bad saying that but I don't. She mistreated me in the form of emotional manipulation and bullying, for years, but worse the last year and I am done with her. Toxic as it is, she lives with me waiting to be housed by the coucil/authorities and I am her primary carer as she is disabled. It's one of those situations you look on and shake your head for the poor unfortunates involved.   Move backwards 15 years. I was quit. It had been 364 days when my then fiance an
Still winning

Still winning

6

Got no mates!

Another quitter today has raised the "drop off rates". Wow they are pretty high!! Now there is a person on the board with my time, but only one. This time is a bit strange to be honest. 4 months was lovely, no craves, all peace. 5 months is reminding me, hey you used to smoke...hey you, you smoked you know....hey hey, can you hear me and so it goes. Now of course it's good, it's me. I have traced back and found the triggers and will work on them and my quit is safe.   So where's me mates at?
Still winning

Still winning

2

Found my day 1 poem

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it.   Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smilin
Still winning

Still winning

4

Feel good/ Endorphins

Is it exercise? Or the weight loss this week? Or the conversations? Or just time? Or that mad ass crave where I lost my emotional load last week?   I feel ok, like someone released my happy valve to just be ok again. I'm even planning on some intention work next week which I haven't been clear enough really to do since before I quit, my concentration was too sketchy. Scheduled in exercise, practice runs of things I want to do, that's massive for me!! I could do it now I think but don't want
Still winning

Still winning

0

Exercise?

Still feeling lethargic, not sleeping well due to stress. Perhaps exercise is the answer. It's not like I'm not getting a tad porky now anyway and I could probably use the help. No more excuses, the housework can wait...death and i have an early appointment this morning. I will feel positive and energised one way or another.
Still winning

Still winning

0

Emotional overload

Tough emotional week, like gritty tough. Living on my nerves but wasn't really concerned about my quit which felt safe and of course, is still safe. My kids are away for the weekend so I can relax and maybe I just drunk too much? Mum lit up in front of me, a conversation went horribly wrong with Chris, then from nowhere - massive crave! Like huge crave, what the hell, where from?! Before I know it I'm out of bed and hunting the house for cigarettes...jeez, really have no idea! I got to the poin
Still winning

Still winning

4

Edgy, counting, motivation.

I see a post, what motivated you to quit. I can't answer it there, I'm pretty ashamed. It should have been my beloved uncle's lung cancer but it wasn't (one sister quit then, both his sons still smoke!). It should have been cervical cancer, I chose denial. It could have been my Mums COPD diagnosis, but no. It was my 8 year old baby telling me she was scared and me finally imagining her living my life as a carer to my mum - oh hell no you don't!! It started a quit journey of almost a year (july t
Still winning

Still winning

1

Don't smoke - I will find you :)

Boom and by the gods, got another one sucked in!! My Giles quits tomorrow with a brilliant mindset of - Mart, if you've got it, then so can I! I LOVE this inspiring stuff!! Even if this doesn't take, he is thinking, and seeing it's do-able and I am somehow managing to enable that, simply by quitting!!   And his twin brother is part of my soul group, so if I can suck Giles in, maybe I can suck my Elliott into quitting. By the way some people think soul mates are the bird/bloke they happen
Still winning

Still winning

4

Been a while

Not updated as not much to report to be honest.   I'm almost 5 months, as it's the 2nd I know that's in 10 days, but mostly I don't really remember how long it's been since I quit. That feels massively ironic as at stages there I was counting in minutes, at a push days. Months seemed totally unrealistic and I smile to think back.   It turns out 4 is my new magic number. Since the actual day I turned 4 months quit I have honestly felt great! That particular day was a dark one on the emotiona
Still winning

Still winning

1

Arguments!

Argument today, with my Mum. Waited for the trigger and it didn't happen!! I wondered if I would think about smoking .. actually what I thought is smoking won't help at all here and genuinely meant it.   Broke a trigger!!!   Sadly this just means there are too many arguments around me all the time :( but still chuffed this is not a trigger now.
Still winning

Still winning

1

Annoying me

2 months, let's celebrate...or get annoyed?! I have just sworn an awful lot on a curse thread, I feel justified...I wonder whether I am.   Simply put I think everyone is being an idiot right about now. I am assured by my sister, I am as bad...I can't see it. Which is nice actually, I like to be right and I really think it's all of them. Blinking emotions are being somewhat tricky again but it's probably ok, I can't decide whose lights I would punch out first anyway - and of course I realize t
Still winning

Still winning

0

Almost 7 months

This has been a tough week. It's tuesday! That probably says a lot. And my weird will be in this blog, if it offends please see "ra ra" type posts in the main arena!   I don't understand why I think of smoking when things become tricky. Although it has been my "go to" for my whole adult life, I started to smoke at 13. I had my first at age 9 - the age my oldest daughter is now!! She's a baby!! I can't believe no one noticed me, and yet if you met those I "care for" you'd understand the self ob
Still winning

Still winning

7

Almost 6 months

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking.   The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who acce
Still winning

Still winning

1

Almost 3 months

I feel like I ought to sing a rendition of Elton John's "I'm still standing" and I smile at this. I had so many failures with quits I'm not sure I've fully taken in that I don't smoke. Yet I have, I KNOW and have known for sometime, truth to tell, that I'm done, no more smoking.   I'm not sure of the point of this blog?? lol. So me, I start writing with no idea of the end game. I wish I was one of those together people who always had a plan :)   It's my magic number coming up next though. I'
Still winning

Still winning

1

9 month thoughts

It was simply time. I had run out of excuses as to why I couldn't. Tried being every type of smoker and relapsed at a rate that would scare you silly. Every single person in my life wanted me to quit. Some to help them quit too, most because they worried for me. I would smoke 30-40 per day, indoors or out socialising. Every day! My quit is a bit of a non entity to me now. I almost think that can be a bit sad, so I make sure I celebrate myself so I never forget what was for me, a battle that I c
Still winning

Still winning

3

8 Months today.

8 months seems utterly amazing to me!! This last month has taught me quite a bit about my quit.   I went on the holiday of a lifetime. One of the main factors of me quitting was affording to go to Florida and Disneyworld with my two kids. I think with the holiday being paid for and actually being on holiday it set up some triggers. I was able to use all I had learnt with you guys here to nope through it, in honesty, once recognised it wasn't difficult.   Sadly my Mum didn't do the same. Havi
Still winning

Still winning

2

7 Months - in a few minutes...

It still makes me smile. I posted up, on a site about 7/8 sites down from the top result as I'd already signed on to all the prior ones in my million quit attempts!! Never posted mind, and couldn't be bothered to try and remember the password! Found a new one, had no idea why as had not planned to do anything but I read a bit and posted! I posted of my intention to quit the following day (had no clue if I could or couldn't actually lol), that I lived with smokers who smoked in my house...it was
Still winning

Still winning

4

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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