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About this blog

When I don't want to post an SOS -- I don't want drama -- but I'm at risk for smoking, near to going out the door.

Entries in this blog

Made it five days

Renewed my effort to quit following more thoughtful watching of Allen Carr's video and mindfulness moments while I smoked. It is day five. Days one and two dragged, with many strong cravings. Days three through five passed by without too much trouble from cravings until late afternoon and this evening. I resorted to using a 14 mg patch -- I want to see how much of this is psychological for me and how much is physical craving. I'd say it is psychological, far and above physical.   Today
Kate18

Kate18

9

Worked through first craving (and thereafter)

Only quit an hour ago, but moving forward as though this is my permanent quit. I weathered the first craving by making a pot of oatmeal with goji berries, flaxseed, chia seeds, and blackstrap molasses. Ate half. Craving has past.   8:54 am. Trying to figure out how to make a running list of cravings, not separate blog entries. Tried "add a message," and now "edit." Craving 3: passed by my cup of coffee remnants on the kitchen counter; immediate craving. Came back to QT t
Kate18

Kate18

16

Eyes Damaged

Three weeks ago, I learned that I have cataracts. Mild, and progression can be slowed if I quit smoking and adopt other healthy habits. One week ago, diagnosed with glaucoma. It's hereditary,  apparently, but no one in my family back two generations had it, so likely this can be attributed to smoking. When I left the eye doctor's office, I thought, "this is it; here is the impetus to get me to quit and stay quit."  I came back to the site and pledged for the day, feeling optimistic.
Kate18

Kate18

2

Watching Marie Kondo - Tidying Up & Craving

Craving a smoke badly. Not Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Thought about posting an SOS, but I asked myself, "Am I really that close to flipping mindsets and going out to buy cigarettes?" Nah. It's too cold outside. It's dark. I've eaten a light, healthy dinner. I walked about a mile today with my dog, so I feel pleasantly invigorated. Don't want to pollute my lungs or hand over any savings to tobacco magnates.  I was watching a series on Netflix about people tidying up their homes with
Kate18

Kate18

3

Counting backward

New delaying tactic... counting backward from 50, each number on inhalation or exhalation. Soon the tension will get too strong and an alarm in my head will sound. It'll be time to go to sleep, because if I stay up, I'm afraid I'll impulsively grab my purse and head to the gas station for cigarettes. I'd think that was impossible at this point, more than two weeks smoke-free,  but if there's anything uncounted relapses have taught me, it's that I should never undere
Kate18

Kate18

2

Delaying, Hovering over a Relapse

When I was in the Forum this am, read Chrysalis's entry on relapse. Today was my first shopping day since I quit on 12/12/18 Traveled 20 miles south and I paid for my dog's boarding at the kennel, got gas for the car, and went grocery shopping. Normally, when I got gas (Costco), I'd get a hot dog and soda and smoke a cigarette. When I'd finish grocery shopping, I'd smoke a cigarette. Then when I got home, I'd take the dog out for a quick walk and then have a cigarette.
Kate18

Kate18

6

Quiet corner for a private SOS

It's after 8 pm. I can see myself in my mind's eye, grabbing my purse and heading out the door to the gas station to get cigarettes. A sigh of relief when I get back, sit on the patio, and light one up. On the other hand.... I'm no longer insensitive to the actual taste of a cigarette. It would be unpleasant. I'm no longer accustomed to having nicotine in my brain, so I'd be dizzy, and I don't like that feeling. I'd have wasted $9.00. In future dollar terms, that's near
Kate18

Kate18

3

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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