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IndigoChilde's Blog

Easter

So, this is a little late. But this Easter we weren't planning on doing anything. So then me and my sister were talking and thought about putting a little something together with family, but we couldn't get a hold of mom to talk to her about it so we decided we were just going to call our brother and have him come home for Easter. And of course, my sister would too. So I talked to dad and we went out while mom was at Bingo to get baskets, plastic grass, and stuff for the Easter baskets. So, choc
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Nature Day

Today I had a nature day. I went out and photographed a few clovers and dandelions, then the trees that were in bloom before and are in leaf now. Then I washed my leather jacket (cats had peed on it when I first moved into my parents' house) now that I have the special leather soaps and conditioners. Found out leather dries really slowly. So I played in the plants. Ran my hands over the tops of the grass, through some soft weeds, and through some feathery ones. Thought of smoking once in the mor
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Writing Meetup

So, I decided I needed to branch out more and found this writing group on Meetup called Shut Up & Write. It's about an hour and a half. An hour writing and half an hour for introductions and getting to know each other. With the dreams I've been having and the racing thoughts I have now, I figure I might actually be able to sit down and write. I hadn't realized smoking was probably adding to my depression because I feel like going out and doing stuff every day. Now if dad would just approve a
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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MarylandQuitter's Blog

VIDEO: What's The Use In Quitting Now?

Most people expressing this sentiment are simply rationalizing their smoking in order to protect their nicotine addiction--a process that if not reversed can end up costing the smoker his or her health and life. http://www.quittrain.com/topic/4753-videos-addressing-issues-early-in-your-quit/?p=172661
MarylandQuitter

MarylandQuitter

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Marti's Blog

2 years tomorrow

I don't think at the time I quite understood the guru's ahead of me, when they said quitting is a journey and not an event. I sure as hell get it now. What a ride!!   This time 2 years ago I sat with cigarettes, 16 days worth of champix taken and a deep sense of desperation to not be a smoker - with no idea how to achieve that. I never really realized it was as simple as just not smoking. I don't really know why, it seems glaringly obvious doesn't it?! I could do an oscar worthy speech of who
Still winning

Still winning

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Depression and Withdrawl

Where to begin...   I think bupropion was acting as an antidepressant as well as helping me quit smoking because I became depressed and had horrible cravings after I stopped it. As I became more depressed, I didn't want to go on the computer. I also spent more time on the couch with the TV on, but paying attention to it less and less. Then I ran out of Geodon (my mood stabilizer) and went through withdrawl. I spent an entire day on the couch doing nothing except using the bathroom and eating w
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

1
IndigoChilde's Blog

On the Edge of Relapse

I just feel like I'm on the edge of relapse today. I keep telling myself NOPE. But it's like I want to smoke. It hasn't been this bad in a while. I don't know if it's coming off the bupropion or what. Today I just feel like crap. My run didn't go well. I mean, I still kinda made it, but it didn't go as I'd like. I didn't enjoy it at all. My dad tried to encourage me but I just couldn't get my spirits up. I can't figure anything I want to do except sleep and smoke, so I've mostly been sleeping. I
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Running

So, my dad got me to start running. We're using this Couch to 5K program. It's three times a week. I finished the first week, but I think I'm going to do it all over again. I don't feel like I'm ready to move onto week 2.   Dad said once I quit smoking he would get me into running. I guess he was right. And I have a Fitbit now and this weekend we're getting myself some running shoes. I think he tricked me into all of this. (j/k)   I'm finding how hard it is to run for 60 seconds with just a
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Triggers

I finished part of a project on my desktop computer and the first thing I wanted was to smoke. I always did that. I'd finish part of a project, feel satisfied, and reward myself with a smoke. Instead I ate a piece of ginger candy and went for a mile walk. Yesterday thanks to dad I got 10,000 steps for the day. So, yay! And I've lost that urge to smoke when I'm chatting in the role play chat I go to. I love the chat, but there are long periods of silence that usually I just went out for a smoke w
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

1
IndigoChilde's Blog

Dreaming Again

Since I was 13 I got really bad nightmares and a few good dreams. Then for a while I stopped dreaming. (Well, never remembered my dreams.) I thought it was my meds and shrugged it off. Now, after 2.5 weeks of being a non-smoker, I'm dreaming again. I don't know if it's the quit or the bupropion, but I'm actually dreaming.   Off-topic, I'm hooked on these Gin-Gin ginger candies. I just bought 10 packs online, cheaper than when we got them at the World Market. The ones I got are Hot Coffee flavo
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

1
IndigoChilde's Blog

Third Week Dragging On

The third week is dragging on soooo slowly. I'm managing to keep from having a smoke, but I'm really bored. I keep going for walks, both in the park and in the back yard. Our trees are flowering, so it's kinda pretty in the back yard. This morning I went for a 2.09 mile walk with my dad. (Fitbit tracks where I go. Yay!) I've been taking pictures of the flowers, but there's only so many pictures you can take of the same flowers. The good news is I don't feel like sleeping all the time anymore, so
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Two Weeks!

I had a lot of fun at Dundracon, and saw Deadpool while we were there. A few cravings. I find if someone leaves half a cigarette out that's one of my triggers. I think because mom and I never smoked a whole cig, so we were used to smoking from halves (or thirds, etc). But my teacher says that the more I'm exposed to my triggers and say no to them, the more they'll go away until they're gone. I think that's my last major trigger, because when I see mom left a half in the backyard (not something s
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

2
MarylandQuitter's Blog

Our Precious Beth (Queen Greenlover) Has Passed Away

I honestly don't know what to say. I just found out about this and talked to her daughter-in-law on the phone just a few minutes ago. She passed last night and was found this morning. For those of us who've gotten to know Beth over the years, this is a heartbreaking day for everyone, especially her family. Please keep her family in prayers and for those of us who knew her through our smoking support group, please reach out to one another and this is devastating news. She was such a tough la
MarylandQuitter

MarylandQuitter

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Doing well at DunDraCon

I honestly thought it'd be harder than this. I'll admit, the first thing I wanted to do was step out onto the balcony and smoke, because I always did when we first got to our hotel room. And of course, all the rooms look the same. But I'm following as much of my routine here as I can. Going for walks in the Courtyard, early in the morning before the smokers get out there. Making my coffee. (They have a small machine here.) And getting on the forums to at least pledge NOPE.   I went to a D&
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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IndigoChilde's Blog

Dundracon Weekend

Today I'm leaving for DunDraCon. I know they're'll be people there who smoke, so I'm staying away from them. And I'm going with a non-smoker friend. I rarely have any reason to be alone while we're there, so there's no excuse for me to go outside and join the smokers. And I'm going to keep telling myself that so I don't go out and ask someone for a smoke. I may not be around a lot, or at all, during the next few days.
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

1
IndigoChilde's Blog

Son's Birthday and One Week

Today is my son's birthday party. His birthday is a few days away. He was getting on my case and nagging me about not smoking. I always told him I was cutting back (and I was) but I didn't quit yet. My greatest embarrassment was going outside to smoke while my kids were at my house (I don't live with them) for Christmas Eve. I normally wait until they leave or I leave before I light up. But this time, right in the middle of the party, I couldn't take it anymore and smoked. Now today I'm going to
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

0
IndigoChilde's Blog

Photoshoot yesterday.

I had fun at the photoshoot yesterday, although it was a little cold. I was The Musician. So I had a bard-like costume and my guitar with me. Though I think I left my hair brush at the photoshoot. Oops. When I get the link to the blog for The Musician I'll share it.   For my reward for making it til Tuesday, dad's planning on getting me a Fitbit. So I gotta stay strong. But I'm back to being on the hunt for cigarettes. I had a dream last night that I found them. Not that I smoked them, but tha
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

0
IndigoChilde's Blog

Great Day Yesterday!

Yesterday was great! Though I couldn't get this site to work for the life of me that night. Anyway, we went out for a nature walk with our cameras and no animals showed up, so that was kinda a disappointment. But driving on the way out were hawks and falcons that we took pictures of from inside the car. (We thought getting out might scare them away). Then we had McDonald's and came home. After that we brainstormed on what to do next so I suggested Old Sacramento where were could get taffy. It's
IndigoChilde

IndigoChilde

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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