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Releasing my addiction

I am a non-smoker

I went to the art museum Saturday. For several hours, I immersed myself in the various types of art on display and let it take me away ? .   After I had been there an hour, the thought of going out to have a cigarette interrupted my wonderful experience. And I chuckled to myself…What? Go have a cigarette? I don’t smoke! And poof…the thought disappeared; without a fuss.   How powerful it is: I don’t smoke; I don’t want to smoke!   It is that simple!   Later, I began
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Releasing my addiction

I am an addict

So what have I learned so far:   NICOTINE is addictive It changed my brain  It changed my DNA I needed a fix every hour It hurt my lungs, my heart, and other body parts Cost me a fortune Took a lot of my time  Controlled much of my life   I spoke to my daughter and she said of course I am addicted to nicotine. She gave me examples and now, what she had been telling me for years now made sense. I was not in control of when I had a cig, it was
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Releasing my addiction

Ok....but not a bad addict

Ok. So it is the smoking that is making it a "little" difficult for me to breathe. the nicotine is ok...it is all that other stuff i am smoking that is bad. I can quit smoking and the nicotine patch will help me not smoke. Good we have such caring big tobacco companies that provide patches and stuff like that.    My quit date is set. I got the patch. And...i am happy, ready to go!!! Put the patch on and I am off. No problems, no withdrawal, no smoking. I am learning to live withou
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Releasing my addiction

Me an addict?

While this is so obvious to me now, a couple weeks ago I the thought never entered my mind.   I smoked since I was 15 and I am now almost 65; I graduated from college, have a successful business career, raised a wonderful daughter, was a good mother and wife, was married for 35 years, etc.    See, I didn't have to Smoke, I enjoyed smoking. I liked it. I could quit IF I wanted to, but why would I want to? It released my stress, calmed me Down, helped me maintain my edge in bei
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Releasing my addiction

Overview

After much reading and much advice, I understand there is a method or process to become free, to become whole, to heal from an addiction. While I no longer want to smoke and have made the commitment to myelf never to take another puff, I also want to heal in all areas. So from this moment on, I am taking full responsibility for any choice I make; I will lead a conscious and caring life. With each crave I overcome, I will regain inner power i have  unconciously given away to my addiction. Yes, ea
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TravellingSunny

Day 19 - Relaxing Into It

Finally.  It's finally happening.   I'm beginning to feel like a non-smoker again.  I find myself thinking about it less and less; mostly just the occasional "vague thought."  (Description of vague internal thought:  'Hmmmm, am I supposed to be doing something now?  Oh, yeah.  I'd normally smoke a cigarette.  Is this a craving?  Nah.  I don't want one - that's just a habit.  What am I going to do instead?  Ooooh!  SQUIRREL!)  So, I'm starting to feel like my old self again.  YAY!
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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TravellingSunny

Day 13 - Dangerously Close Call

The internal war wages on.  All the way home from work yesterday, I kept thinking it's been almost two weeks, and perhaps I've earned myself a cigarette as a reward.  Just one.  I was completely convinced that having successfully quit smoking for 5 years and now that I'm successfully doing it again - well, it should be a no-brainer for me.  I've got this, and I totally deserve it.  Thought about how great that cigarette was going to be all the way home... how I was just going to have one of my h
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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TravellingSunny

Day 5

Memoirs of my fifth day not smoking (here in list form for your entertainment): Woke up tired.  My body, while nicotine free, is still greatly missing the stimulants. Got out of bed and made coffee. Laid back down in the bed and tried to decide if quitting smoking constituted a legitimate need for a sick day. Got out of bed again and got dressed. Went to work.  Chewed three pieces of gum during the seven mile drive. Arrived at work, dropped personals off
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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TravellingSunny

Day 4

Too busy eating to write a blog today.   I need to be saved from myself - can someone please just tape my mouth closed so I can't eat anymore junk food???
TravellingSunny

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It's time for a journey

Catching me by surprise.

I’m more than two weeks smokefree. Yay me!   i just sat down to work email and wanted to, visualized it actually, reaching for my pack of cigarettes. Like a ghost or shadow it was. It caught me by surprise.    Reminder: I have not given anything up by not smoking. This is just the many, many years of habit acting on my brain and physical being. The muscle memory.  It will take time to rewire me so I have to be patient and not give any more thought space to smoking thoughts th
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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TravellingSunny

Day 3

Day 3 lasted for-freaking-ever.  First day back to work after quitting, and I had exactly zero concentration.  Glued to my support system all day, I really didn't get anything productive accomplished.  While it feels like I wasted the entire day mooning over the emptiness of not smoking, I can't really say it was a waste, can I?  I mean, that's one more day under my quit belt - and the last day (supposedly) of nicotine in my system.   So, with the physical withdrawals done (mine consis
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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TravellingSunny

Day 2

Tempting and teasing my addiction was probably not the best approach to the second day of this quit.  I mean... how much harder do I really need to make this for myself.   Against all odds, I survived Day Two with my quit intact. Drinking. Partying with friends. Escorting my best friend outside for her smoke breaks. The resulting urges to smoke were, needless to say, powerful. I discovered that my poor and slow texting abilities are a boon to using this forum. By the time I type it all
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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TravellingSunny

Day 1

I wasn't prepared to write my first blog post ever in my life tonight - but, I mean, here's this option right here and this site has just made it so easy and I always said I wanted organize my old posts to remember how awful it was...   Here I am. Again with the first day. Again with the relentless discomfort that follows every life segment. Wake up. Remind myself that "No. You don't smoke anymore." Drink coffee. "No. You don't smoke anymore." Driving. "NOPE."  Finished breakfast. "NOP
TravellingSunny

TravellingSunny

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It's time for a journey

Coping with Outside Stresses

I've faced a lot of stressful situations since the weekend. Tax day. Relationship stress. Work stress. I was not particularly graceful or dignified but overall not too bad. I snapped like a child, instead of talked. I cursed like a sailor. I paced like a mad person. What I didn't do was smoke. In fact, having a smoke wasn't even my first thought when I was hit with a wave of stress...until someone reminded me by saying, "Why don't you go and smoke?" Nice. Thanks for your support. Victory was min
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Eight and Ate

8 days smokefree. Yeehaw!    Oops. Didn’t start that 21-day fitness thing yet.    Two things on my mind are rewards and the bottomless pit of what seems to be hunger. Yesterday, I had several moments where I wanted to smoke but I didn’t seriously consider it. I noticed around lunchtime just how hungry I was and I ate a normal portion of leftover lo mein and then I finished it with a second helping. I still felt hungry. I had two cookies. Luckily that was just about all the fo
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

1 week down

As joyful and as awesome as Saturday was for me, Sunday was that much of blah. It’s a roller coaster ride.    I found myself missing smoking at several times throughout the day yesterday. I guess that’s romanticizing smoking...thinking of the enjoyment of it, etc. I had to remind myself to just live in and be present in this moment; to decide not to smoke right now.    I have some PTSD-like things that come up every now and again and while i manage them much better than I use
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Smoke Free Saturday

I am still smokefree!!!    Yesterday I drove 3 hours without smoking. I held a straw in my left hand for most of the trip. At one point I actually flicked it as if to get the ash off out the window. That was totally out of habit and without thinking. I thought it was kind of funny. It made me realize how much of this is the habit of smoking, the muscle memory.    I was also also thinking about what seems different about this quit for me. It’s not as much of a struggle for me
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Saved by a bic pen, a straw, and the quit train

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me but i made it through. Just when I felt confident I had a major trigger that I've not dealt with before and panicked. All of my planning went out the window but I got great suggestions in SOS to use a straw like a cigarette, deep breathe, and lollipops or other hard candies. I didn't have a straw so I used a bic pen. I made it through just fine.  I read today that once you experience and deal with a cue/trigger that it won't impact you as much the n
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Nicotine Free

It amazes me how in such a short time, you can get a real boost to your self esteem and sense of accomplishment by quitting something so bad for you. That is where I am today (at least for the moment).  I was actually able to concentrate on my work this morning for two hours without even thinking about smoking. Well, actually that's not true but I was able to quickly brush aside smoking thoughts and carry on. Someone else said it but I think I agree that the Chantix must truly be a wonder drug f
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Uphill but following signs

This is my day 3. When I woke up today I felt it would be different -- more challenging -- uphill road, maybe covered in ice. I'm pretty sure "nicodemon" was whispering in my ear. I don't want to feed my anxieties and fears and make more of them than I need to. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I read one of the posts yesterday about how we should make it hard to smoke instead of make it hard to quit. That makes a lot of sense to me...very practical, sensible, logical. I also read a bit a
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

A cause for celebration

Woohoo!!! I made it through day 1 and am on day 2. A few strong cravings yesterday but I've actually had an hour or so at a time where I didn't actually think about smoking. I think that's the thing that I hated most the last time I quit -- obsessing over smoking for the first three months or so. The cool thing is that even though the last time I quit smoking was 15 years ago, a lot of the things I learned then kicked in yesterday. That's good news.   My husband received a stressful ca
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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It's time for a journey

Taking the non-smoking road

I wasn't really prepared to quit. I've been putting it off for a year and half. My doctor gave me chantix and she picked a quit date for me. It passed on February 1, 2018.   So April 9 is the day I quit smoking.  Two months later than I promised my Doctor. But better late than never.   I've been smoking since I was 13, off and on until about 21 when I took up smoking in earnest. I averaged about 10-13 cigarettes a day until, at 51, I experienced some personal trauma and I beg
Rosewothorne

Rosewothorne

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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