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MarylandQuitter's Blog

Nicodemon's Lies?

...Science calls our lies denial.  Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism - just below the surface - for resolving the emotional conflict and anxieties that naturally arise from living in a permanent state of self-destructive chemical bondage. Nicodemon's Lies? by John R. Polito Nicotine Cessation Educator https://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_NicodemonsLies.html   Why a question mark behind "Nicodemon's Lies"? Because there is no Nicodemon. Because there are zero monsters
MarylandQuitter

MarylandQuitter

0
Personal SOS Space

Watching Marie Kondo - Tidying Up & Craving

Craving a smoke badly. Not Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Thought about posting an SOS, but I asked myself, "Am I really that close to flipping mindsets and going out to buy cigarettes?" Nah. It's too cold outside. It's dark. I've eaten a light, healthy dinner. I walked about a mile today with my dog, so I feel pleasantly invigorated. Don't want to pollute my lungs or hand over any savings to tobacco magnates.  I was watching a series on Netflix about people tidying up their homes with
Kate18

Kate18

3
Beat the Demon

Feeling Proud

I am feeling very proud that I've started the new year as a non-smoker. This is my longest quit ever and I look forward to the additional days, weeks, months and eventual years of success. Even though I get a craving now and then, I am able to hold strong in my determination to have Not One Puff Ever (NOPE).    Thank you to Quit Train and all the other quitters who help me get off to a strong, successful quit.   Happy, successful New Year to us all!   Deanna
DragonsFancy

DragonsFancy

5
Marti's Blog

The journey only continued for some...

I've umm'ed and ahh'ed about writing another blog entry, I don't like to be rushed I guess. I thought I was in  a new year and heading for my 4th year quit but on perusing the site, transpires I'm heading for my 5th lol. Smoking is an enigma to me now but those who knew my habit 2+ packs a day for years can't believe I have stayed quit *cough, this site* and new friends can't imagine me as a smoker! The latter is a compliment for sure.   However when I quit it was with two others. My M
Still winning

Still winning

1
Personal SOS Space

Counting backward

New delaying tactic... counting backward from 50, each number on inhalation or exhalation. Soon the tension will get too strong and an alarm in my head will sound. It'll be time to go to sleep, because if I stay up, I'm afraid I'll impulsively grab my purse and head to the gas station for cigarettes. I'd think that was impossible at this point, more than two weeks smoke-free,  but if there's anything uncounted relapses have taught me, it's that I should never undere
Kate18

Kate18

2
Personal SOS Space

Delaying, Hovering over a Relapse

When I was in the Forum this am, read Chrysalis's entry on relapse. Today was my first shopping day since I quit on 12/12/18 Traveled 20 miles south and I paid for my dog's boarding at the kennel, got gas for the car, and went grocery shopping. Normally, when I got gas (Costco), I'd get a hot dog and soda and smoke a cigarette. When I'd finish grocery shopping, I'd smoke a cigarette. Then when I got home, I'd take the dog out for a quick walk and then have a cigarette.
Kate18

Kate18

6
Personal SOS Space

Quiet corner for a private SOS

It's after 8 pm. I can see myself in my mind's eye, grabbing my purse and heading out the door to the gas station to get cigarettes. A sigh of relief when I get back, sit on the patio, and light one up. On the other hand.... I'm no longer insensitive to the actual taste of a cigarette. It would be unpleasant. I'm no longer accustomed to having nicotine in my brain, so I'd be dizzy, and I don't like that feeling. I'd have wasted $9.00. In future dollar terms, that's near
Kate18

Kate18

3
My headspace....

Depression.....

Everyone gets depressed sometime...….   I seem to be depressed all of the time, but I have this most wonderful mask that I made that hides it from everyone - we all have one - the one that we call our 'everyday face'.   My everyday face normally has a wide smile on it, one with crooked yellowing teeth that is just a silly grin, but it hided the real me that I almost never show to anyone.  Those closest to me are the only ones that see my real face more often than not, but even then, I
Oldybutmouldy

Oldybutmouldy

5
Tranquil, Tensile or Tormented

Of Superheroes and Smoking

So yes, I know the first question that might pop up in your head is wait, what? Superheroes and smoking?   What kinda connection is that?   Well, I'm a huge nerd/geek/fangirl (whatever other fancy term you may want to use) and a big big follower of the comic book/superhero universe. And though I love both DC (Batman, Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Cyborg, Green Arrow etc) and Marvel (Ironman, Spiderman, Dr. Strange, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Thanos, Lok
Tammy

Tammy

2
Tranquil, Tensile or Tormented

The calm before the storm?

So I am in kind of a haze, certain things going on personally which make me question a lot of things I thought I knew. Long story short, if I ever had any excuse (that being the operative word here) it would be now.   However I don't want to, and I certainly don't feel like.  In fact, I'm almost disappointed since I realize that smoking won't help puff the problem away. There were times when stress at work or home equated to stepping out and lighting up. Absolutely sure that
Tammy

Tammy

6
redemption3

Celebrating my first week without cigarettes !!

Its been a hell of week But i survived   Nicotine gums are  like my new best friend   I could not have done without it   Thanks to all the people who have supported me   I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with it. The big struggle is to keep your head clear enough to think. -  Richard Pryor
Sunshine59

Sunshine59

18
Tranquil, Tensile or Tormented

Cacophony and Silence (Tormented)

It seems like there's a fight going on inside, Words going stark raving mad to take flight. I hesitate, but they want a deluge To hide is something they absolutely refuse. I ponder, wait and consider all angles They run unchecked, unhinged, untangled. Do I open the gates, I wonder Would the flood tear my life asunder? They just want to be free, not like freedom today In the true sense, totally uninhibited No judging, no boundaries, no questions Free to choose their destin
Tammy

Tammy

8
Tranquil, Tensile or Tormented

Tensile and Taut

A very reflective weekend this one, on the back of a semi-hectic week at work. On Saturday, watched a play related to the 26th November 2008 attacks on Mumbai (today is the 10th anniversary of those horrific attacks).  The play was a monologue of the man behind the attacks - David Coleman Headley, an American Pakistani who orchestrated these attacks and conducted the recce which was used to plan and map out where they would take place. The actor (someone I know personally) potrayed that par
Tammy

Tammy

4
Lilly

Week Two

I sailed through the first week but this week has been a lot harder.   On Day 9 I became obsessed with the "have I quit too late" thought. I had read a few personal stories where people had got a smoking related health problem after they had quit, and the seed of fear spiralled out of control in my mind. I don't really regret anything in my life but I do regret relapsing so many times.    I don't think I can ignore the damage smoking does or that it is a killer. I do think th
Lilly

Lilly

0
Tranquil, Tensile or Tormented

Tranquil with a smattering of Tensile

Well, there are days when I feel like a hamster running in the wheel, huffing and puffing (figuratively, not literally), but getting nowhere.   Then there are days when the sun is shining, the colours are sharper, everyone I meet is smiling and everything is just right with the world. Then come the days of Grey. When it's neither dark nor light, the day is just there...like a blob of paint that falls on the floor.   I know I've got enough grit to get through the craves, and w
Tammy

Tammy

4
Lilly

Week One

Today I am celebrating my first week of freedom ?   I have bought lots of great food and just plan on relaxing and enjoying the day (will obviously watch the Joel Spitzer videos for today at some point).   I thought about what reward I could give myself to mark this special day, then I realised I have already given myself the greatest gift of all .......... I quit smoking ?  
Lilly

Lilly

0
Lilly

Day 6

Day 6 is done.  As always I watched the Joel Spitzer videos for today and then was out for the rest of the day.   I am amazed by my stats. Look at all those cigarettes not smoked in 6 days ??  I worked it out and I won't be setting alight £389.00 a month.   The benefits just keep coming ?    
Lilly

Lilly

0
Lilly

Day 5

I watched my Day 5 Joel Spitzer video today.   Had a few smoking thoughts but got through.    I am now in Day 6.
Lilly

Lilly

0
Lilly

Day 4

Today I read my Day 4 material from Joel Spitzer as usual, but I also learnt something by myself.    The last three days were tough in places and if there was a day to throw in the towel it would have been yesterday. I woke up this morning and I realised I felt great.     If I had given up on this quit yesterday I wouldn't have experienced the great day I had today.    I am now in Day 5.
Lilly

Lilly

0
Lilly

Day 3

Day 3 was difficult as I have been extremely emotional. I am not sure if I can explain my feelings in words but will try.    I was watching my Day 3 videos by Joel Spitzer and there was one that I had watched before. When I watched it the first time I felt sad but continued to smoke. When I watched it earlier it brought out feelings in me that I didn't even realise were there.    After watching it today I sobbed for hours for my own mum. I watched my mum die due to smok
Lilly

Lilly

0
redemption3

Hello my new world !!!!

This is one of those rare days where everything feels perfect and i do not even want to think about cigarettes anymore .   I have a million other things to think about   And i love this discussion group   I want to contribute something good to this forum    
Sunshine59

Sunshine59

21

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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